Well, anti-cubicle fans, I am officially unemployed. Please, hold your applause.
My doctor finally released me back to work after a hand surgery and my employer said they didn’t have any open positions for me in their local office. If, by chance, you are feeling even slightly jealous of me for beating some cubicle system, or thinking it unfair that I escaped the cubicle and still blog about cubeland (I mean, how can I write about getting out of the corporate cubicle world if I’m not even there, right?) – DON’T. It’s no picnic. Truthfully, I’m feeling pretty down about it. I thought I would feel happy to be finally rid of my not-so-nice insanely impatient boss and relieved not to have the HR lady ask me why it took me 5 minutes to go to the bathroom rather than 3, but I don’t. I feel strange and it’s difficult to articulate. I guess I feel hurt that they don’t value me as an employee and scared not knowing what my future holds. And yes, a small part of me feels relieved. Not having to feel inadequate everyday is nice but being unemployed comes with its own anxiety.
Fear of success is something I’ve self-diagnosed. Yep, I think WebMD said I have all the symptoms.
As I mentioned before, one of my interests is making jewelry. When we moved into this house, the previous owner had a workshop in the basement and I remember seeing it and knowing this would be my new jewelry studio! We just had to buy this house – the workshop would be my Girl Craft Cave!
Wood workshop before
Wood workshop before
Closeup of cabinets before
As you can see, it needed some work. I spent several months putting Drylock on the walls (a thick, sandy paint-like substance that helps stop moisture), sanding and painting the cabinets, painting the concrete floors, and adding new stainless steel cabinet hardware. I don’t skimp.
Time doesn’t wait for perfection. Time has got other things to do while you hem, haw, tweak, plan, and strategize.
You see, I haven’t written much lately because I haven’t felt very inspired. And, in spite of writing a recent article encouraging you to stop caring what people think, my not feeling inspired is really code for: I didn’t have anything that I thought was good enough. Oh, the hypocrisy! I needed a strong kick in the pants and a good talking to.
The first necklace I ever made. What a beauty.
You’re not alone. Mine suck, too. Let’s be depressed together. Sniffle. Look sad. Be as pathetic as you can possibly be. There now. Feel better?
Except I’m still obsessing over the title of this article and how much it sucks.
Millions of you (ok, my fan base is probably much smaller) are probably wondering how my hand is? Well, I’m finally seeing some improvement. Yee-friggin-haw! Where is my cowboy hat? While my thumb is finally able to more things, unfortunately it still can’t form a perfect hitchhike thumb. (My mom is breathing a sigh of relief!)
And don’t think for one minute that I’m above noticing the downside to this glorious hand healing: Continue reading
Today I came across the type of obstacle that I seem to immediately jump on as if, somewhere in the depth of my lazy butt brain, I’m looking for any excuse to quit. Do you know what I mean? Or am I just a big sissy? Continue reading
It’s Friday night. It really isn’t much different than any other Friday night you might see me spending in my early 40s. I mean, there certainly aren’t any “keggers” to attend. Bono stopped calling. And I’m pretty sure my cats have their own plans.
But it’s Memorial Day weekend. I imagine most of you are BBQ-ing it up or pre-gaming for your Saturday afternoon BBQ. If you’re not doing either of those, I hope you are at least watching Shark Tank with some popcorn and your significant other and not a complete and total
loser winner like me.
Oh, me? Oh don’t worry about me. I’m just sitting here at the computer with my TV off (applause please) and trying to write award winning blog posts. Because I will find a way out of my cubicle. Tomorrow morning, I will be taking a break from blogging to take my sad little basement jewelry studio by storm. Baby steps, baby.
Peace out, partiers.
I paced by my desk numerous times this morning glaring at the computer screen like it was a dreaded dental appointment. Chanted in head: “Write. Blog. Get out of the cube. Write. Blog.” A few times I walked by the desk turning my head purposefully so I didn’t have to be reminded. Saw laundry basket sitting next to desk. Remembered I needed to bring it downstairs. I paused to consider picking it up, and then decided to ignore it, too. Gave myself ultimatum that my choices were laundry or writing and, without hesitation, picked laundry. Downstairs in the laundry room I stopped to notice all the piles of paperwork and boxes of jewelry supplies that still need sorting through. My wanna-be-jewelry studio has hung over my head like a sopping wet hoodie since we moved into the house 3 years ago. This sad state of affairs was overwhelming so I headed back upstairs. I’m not totally useless – I started the washer. Wandered aimlessly around the kitchen looking for a snack. Noticed how adorable the cats looked in the sun room as they both attempted to sniff fresh air out the same window. Aww they look cute. Grab camera. This turned into a full kitty modeling session that lasted at least 15 minutes until, one by one, both cats got up and walked away. Was it something I said? Suddenly I was hungry. Eat. The dishes that had been sitting in the sink for at least 24 hrs suddenly HAD to be washed that. very. minute. Hmm – If I remember correctly, my toilets need a good cleaning . . .
Photo by Vince Dudzinski
I am sure you have heard about people who quit their day job and followed their dreams to work for themselves. It does happen to people. Unless those people are not human and are super-powered extra terrestrial beings that have the ability to get out of the cubicle – and people like us don’t.
I realize the example below probably has odds of happening similar to those of winning the lottery. I prefer to believe the chances are greater and I have read similar tales in magazines like Country Living and Oprah. And we all know that if Oprah says something, it must be true.
You heard from a friend of a friend whose sister knows a Julie Schmulie so-and-so who left her six-figure monotonous banking job and is now following her dreams selling smelly soaps full-time on Etsy. She just “wasn’t inspired at the bank.” She loves her new life and the flexibility of working for herself. She now gets up around 9am, takes her dog for a long walk, and then gets busy making soaps.
Let us all take a deep breath in (swoosh) and take a deep breath out (whhhooooo) and then, without hurting yourself, let’s all do a collective eye roll. Continue reading
One trick I’ve discovered that works for me when I have no motivation is to find like-minded individuals who have similar goals. Remember the buddy system? It doesn’t matter if your buddies don’t have the exact same goals that you do, but they should have goals they want to accomplish and they should be willing to give and receive support.
When I work for someone else, I work very hard for them. I do everything in my power to get the job done. When it comes to setting personal goals, I tend to procrastinate and not keep the promises I make to myself. The biggest advantage for me to having a support system is having someone to hold me accountable. I don’t know about you, but I need a serious periodic kick in the pants when it comes to my creative pursuits. Continue reading